Next week I am doing something I didn't ever think I would be able to do.
I didn't think I was that kind of person, that I would be accepted, or
that I would have the courage to go. Despite it being something I would
love to be part of.
I've found the courage (I think) and on Tuesday will be attending my first meeting.
Since 2009 I've tried incredibly hard to make friends with other mums at baby groups, at soft play etc to no avail.
And I'm desperate just to have some adult company with people like me.
When I say "like me" I mean people who think the way I do, who I can talk to etc.
I think that although my online life and my online friendships are wonderful, I just need a little something more.
Someone to see me as a real human and not someone living inside a Laptop.
I want to document my experience in the WI, for me to look back on but
also maybe to encourage others to join, especially those who struggle to
make new friends, this will only work of course if I enjoy it.
I think there is a stereotype when it comes to the WI.
Old women, or older women at least, housewives, sitting around making jam and knitting.
It looks to me that this stereotype isn't accurate anymore, although to
me it wouldn't matter if this was the case, I love an old fashioned
attitude and way of life in some aspects.
The group I will be going to was set up by 4 young women, and not so
long ago one of the classes was held at a Burlesque Club...quite a
change to making jam and knitting scarves hey?!
I know two people who will be starting at the same time as me, which
makes it easier. Although I think we are all feeling the same nerves and
anticipation about it.
I keep thinking about what I am hoping to gain from it, so I have a clear idea of how I want to feel when I drive home, and talk about it afterwards.
Friendships are definitely a key thing. I'm not looking for a friend for life, a best friend, although obviously that would be wonderful but I'm not going to set my sights too high. Just people who are interested in me, like me, and want to keep in touch, happy to be seeing me once a month, of not more, would be lovely.
I'm looking forward to being Lauren. Not mum, wife, housewife etc.
I don't have to talk about the children, or about nappies, problems with dinnertime or to talk about preschool. I can talk about....well, other things.
I won't have the boys as my comfort blanket, which is a little weird for me as I am always with them. So I'll feel slightly bare and vulnerable. I won't have them to comfort me or to push attention on if I feel a bit out of place or out of my comfort zone.
I'm looking forward to learning new things, being involved in new things and maybe finding new hobbies.
I'm normally great at getting out of things, finding an excuse not to go, so I think writing about this gives me the push meaning I have to go.
No getting out of it, no excuses.
I'm really looking forward to it and I hope that the excuse side of me doesn't come out and that if it does, I am able to fight it and enjoy an evening of being Lauren and enjoying myself.