Real Housewife of Suffolk County

Sunday, 29 November 2015

Getting a Job and Having Self Doubt

As I sit on my bed I can't help but to feel angry with myself.
I have the house to myself. I have a day off work. And at the moment, life feels pretty good.
There have been some major stumbling points the past couple of weeks. Lots of big changes and each of them I have coped with.
I have realised how strong I can be. And how putting myself first is important and not a selfish act.

I have a new job which I adore. A job that I look forward to. A job that, when it comes to 6 o clock, I feel sad to leave.
I work somewhere where everyone has made me feel so welcome and part of the team from the moment I walked in. People who make me laugh, who I feel like I have known for so long despite it only being 3 weeks.
People who I like spending time with and people who I look forward to seeing on a work day. People who can lift my mood when I'm feeling down, who can make me laugh until I cry, and people who I can have the most ridiculous and personal conversations with and feel totally comfortable about it.
I have a job I am proud of. I work with a team I am proud of. In a place I am proud of.
In fact, I have surprised myself with how passionate I am about it all so soon.
It just feels right.

And I've waited for this day, I knew it would be coming, just as it usually does.
That day when the self doubt crashes in and I question everything.
I question myself, I question others and I hate it.
I hate this.

The same things as always going through my mind.
"They probably find you really annoying"
"They probably don't like you"
"They probably look forward to the days you are not in"
"They probably regret giving you a job"
"They probably wish you weren't part of the team"

As much as I've quite liked who I am at the moment, in this time of "discovering who Lauren is" I now just feel totally overwhelmed. I wish so much that I could reign it in sometimes and be this quiet girl who sits back and and just gets on with life and isn't so "in your face".
But then at the same time, being like that isn't the real me right now, so do I just face up to the fact that maybe, at this moment in time, I am this annoying person who is a bit all over the place, and bouncy and a little bit hyper? Maybe right now I am a little over-excited at having something that I love and enjoy and the socialising side of not only my job but of my life at the moment.

I just wish I could stop these thoughts, and for once just be quite happy with the fact that MAYBE people actually like me and maybe people look forward to working with me and spending time with me, just as I do with them.

It's a waste of energy - it might not happen, and if you focus on a positive future, you're more likely to receive it.:

Arts and Crafts Activities to do with the kids this Christmas

There are hundreds of arts and crafts activities to do this Christmas time with the children but you don’t want to do the same old things that they do every year at school. So let’s think outside the box and create something a little bit different. Some of these great ideas be used as gifts for loved ones as well.
Christmas Crackers – Why buy Christmas crackers when you can make your own? Put your tube (kitchen roll) on top of crepe paper from Homecrafts and attach a cracker snap inside, not forgetting your surprise gift and joke. Wrap the crepe paper around the tube and decorate the outside with ribbons and Christmas pictures. The added bonus is that you get to put gifts inside that people really want to receive.
Cork reindeer – This cute idea uses all those spare bottle corks that you might have sitting around during the festive period. Simply use one cork for the body, half a cork for the neck, half a cork for the head and split in half two corks for each pair of legs. Make some antlers and a tail using a pipe cleaner. You can always add extra details like eyes, a nose and maybe a little bow to your reindeer.
Penguin bottles – Using old plastic drinks bottles you can make sweet penguins that look great. Paint the outside of the bottle black and white for the penguin’s body or cover with coloured paper. Paint the top a bright colour as though it is the penguin’s hat and add a little pom-pom to make the bobble. For the feet, cut out shapes made of card or felt. Draw on a penguin face and use a piece of ribbon for a scarf. For a little bit extra you can always fill them up with sweet treats.
DIY Hand warmers – The weather gets really cold over the Christmas period but this carries on well into February most years so make something that can be used over and over again. Making your very own sets of hand warmers for the whole family can be a really useful item to have. shows you how to do this using vinegar, baking soda and a stove.
Homemade candles – Fill your home with a festive ambience by making seasonal candles with the children.
Yarn pom–poms – Grab a bright roll of yarn and wrap it gently around your finger around 50 times. Cut off any excess and slip the loop of yarn off your finger but be careful that it doesn’t unravel. Cinch at the middle of your yarn and use scissors to cut the loops. Fluff it up and then add to a gift, card or decoration using the ends to tie on the pom–pom.

Wrapping paper – Whatever the age of your children they can all create their own very unique Christmas wrapping paper rolls. Buy a long roll of white plain paper or large sheets of white paper. Give your kids lots of different items to decorate with such as pens, stampers, paints and of course glitter. Just remember with the glitter to put the paper on a tray or you’ll be finding glitter everywhere until the following Christmas!
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